


Between the Madness

by emmiegrace



Series: Mad, Beautiful, Fantastic Universe [2]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Bad Wolf Rose Tyler, Child Loss, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage, One Shot, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, Time Lord Rose Tyler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-22 20:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13772361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmiegrace/pseuds/emmiegrace
Summary: Outtakes and missing scenes from Mad, Beautiful, Fantastic. NOT spoiler free





	1. TARDIS Repairs

Rose was sitting on the metal floor beneath the glass one, surrounded by TARDIS mechanics and looking for all the world like the part of the ship that she really was. 

She was watching The Doctor work from his hammock seat of wires- occasionally handing him the odd device or part as he asked for them.

He smiled down to her. She was glowing slightly- like she always was when she was close to the heart of the TARDIS. A spark of electricity zapped his fingers though after a few minutes as he’d let some exposed wires cross while so distracted by his beautiful wife.

Rose gave him a cheeky tongue touched smile as he held his burnt finger to his lips and pouted. “Best pay attention love, she doesn’t like it when you’re messing about her when distracted.”

The Doctor wrinkled his nose at that. “I’m convinced she’s jealous you married me and not her.” He said, and all around them the lights flashed while in their minds the ship gave a sort of noncommittal shrug at the observation.

Rose giggled and patted the underside of the center console right next to her. “Oh you know I love you too, dear.” She reassured the ship, and the TARDIS practically purred in response.

The Doctor huffed at that and the TARDIS shocked him again. “Oi!” He yelled, glaring at the ceiling while Rose failed to hold back her laughter. He looked down to her as her hand covered her mouth. “Oh you think this is funny, do you?”

“A bit funny, yeah.” She nodded, grinning playfully.

He smirked, and in a second he was on top of her, pushing her to the floor with a surprised laugh as he melded their lips together and pressed his hips into hers.

“Oh now you’re just showing off.” Rose said quietly, teasing him even as a blush spread from her cheeks to her chest. The TARDIS dinged in agreement with a telepathic huff- getting small chuckles from the both of them.

The Doctor let out a long breath, pressing their foreheads together and just enjoying being so close. “I love you.” He told her after a few moments.

She reached out and ran a hand across his cheek. “I love you too, my Doctor.” She whispered, slightly reverently and reached up to pull him back down for another passionate kiss.

The TARDIS remained blissfully silent after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly, Chapter 17 of MBF didn't get up 5 minutes ago when it was still Thursday. This week has been absolutely insane. Here's some fluff as an apology! I'll do my best to post before Sunday ❤︎


	2. Pasen’iavortnabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because every home has those little inside jokes/household memes that no one else gets. Especially bilingual homes.

The Doctor and Rose would speak in Gallifreyan from time to time.

It must’ve started when Rose was still learning the complex language, but it had gradually moved to more significant meanings since then. The Doctor, for one, couldn’t even begin to explain the feeling that comes with being able to have a conversation in his native tongue after so long without- and Rose is happy to oblige (she does adore the language after all- especially listening to The Doctor speak it).

Other times it’s because they’ve started a conversation out loud but suddenly realise they don’t want present company to be listening. It’s easier to keep going in Gallifreyan rather than just suddenly go silent to their heads and have whoever’s around start talking before they’re finished.

Similarly, sometimes whatever they’re trying to say just simply translates better in Gallifreyan.

...Which is how _pasen’iavortnabe_ happened.

Amy noticed it first. That there was one word in particular that she’d hear the alien couple using more often than most. Eventually to the point that there wasn’t always context around it.

Like, one time, Rose came into the galley, opened the fridge, groaned rather dramatically and glared at her husband before muttering “ _pasen’iavortnabe_ ” and grabbing the apologetic cuppa he handed her in response.

Or, somewhat disproportionately, later that same day they were piloting the TARDIS and Rose suggested some planet that made them laugh, and in between chuckles The Doctor let out a “ _pasen’iavortnabe_ ” -earning more giggles from Rose.

Finally, after a few weeks of observing this strange word repetition, Amy cracked. They were in the library, and The Doctor had just pointed to a sentence in his book and mumbled the word, getting a huff and a nod of agreement from Rose this time. “Alright,” Amy started, shutting her book and sitting forward, “what does that _mean?_ ”

They both furrowed their brows at her. “What does what mean?” The Doctor asked.

Amy rolled her eyes. “That word you two are always saying! Pas- pasi- avor- nob- or whatever.”

The Doctor couldn’t help but wince at how completely she’d managed to butcher the Gallifreyan with her particularly-thick-when-annoyed Scottish accent. “ _Pasen’iavortnabe_ ” he corrected her gently before looking over to Rose amusedly. “I supposed we do say that a lot don’t we?”

Rose laughed at the realisation while Amy huffed. “Yeah, you do. In just about every context imaginable. I’m pretty sure I heard one of you yell it randomly yesterday.” She accused.

Rose smirked. “Yeah probably. It doesn’t really have a good English translation though… somewhere between ‘so dull it’s basically meaningless’ and ‘there’s no point in going on because of this’ -sort of both at the same time.” She looked to The Doctor and he nodded in agreement.

Rory spoke up at that, wrinkling his nose and squinting at the couple. “So you’re just being overly dramatic all the time?”

They both laughed at that assessment. “Yeah- yeah I suppose so.” The Doctor admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck he looked down to Rose. “It’s sort of just… become something we say whenever we’re annoyed or bored.”

Rory tilted his head as he considered that. “ _Pasen…_ ” he started, drifting off.

“- _'iavortnabe_.” Rose finished for him slowly, smirking as she pulled the scrap paper she’d been using as a bookmark out and leant forward to write both the Circular Gallifreyan and the English pronunciation below it- handing it to the human couple. They leaned over the paper and practiced saying the word for a while with the Time Lords’ assistance.

 

Eventually, they got Amy and Rory in the habit of saying the word too, and it became a common sound around the TARDIS.

Amy couldn’t find her favorite pair of socks and angrily muttered “ _pasen’iavortnabe_ ” as she shoved on the ones that made her toes feel weird.

Rory was laying on the jump seat listening to the three of them debate over beach or jungle planets, bored out of his mind as he counted the round things, distractedly mumbling “ _pasen’iavortnabe_ ” when he started over.

They were joking about how awful Clom was when The Doctor said “ _pasen’iavortnabe_ ” and made them all burst into hysterical giggles.

Rose became exceptionally annoyed at a Torchwood file Jack had given her and just yelled “ _PASEN’IAVORTNABE_ ” loud enough for The Doctor to feel compelled to take them all to a resort planet.

And when Amy and Rory were back in Leadworth and finding themselves in a particularly strong mood for some running, Amy didn’t even bother calling. She’d just send Rose that one word text that guaranteed they’d be on their doorstep in minutes: “ _pasen’iavortnabe_.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [pas-en-ee-ah-vort-nab-ay]
> 
> I’m working all weekend so MBF is taking a while but I’ll be posting little outtakes like these in the meantime. Still aiming for Sunday though!
> 
> **(— your comments mean the world to me! ❤︎)**


	3. Time Lords

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Gallifreyan for my fellow linguistics nerds

Rory looked up from the Harry Potter prequel quite suddenly as the thought occurred to him. He squinted over to The Doctor and Rose sitting across from him on the library’s sofa. “Why is it you’re a Time _Lord_ and not a Time _Lady?_ ” He asked her without preamble.

Rose’s head snapped up at his voice while The Doctor’s slowly raised as he processed the question. Rose furrowed her brows at him. “Because it’s a poor translation.” She answered vaguely before returning back to her book.

Rory waited for her to go on, but when neither of them offered further explanation he shook his head and continued. “How do you mean?” He asked.

The Doctor sighed and closed whatever book he’d been reading. “On Gallifrey we didn’t really _have_ genders and pronouns- or at least not the way humans do. When Time Lords regenerate it’s a gamble- _completely._ So why would we risk wholly changing how we identify ourselves just because we came out a little differently on the 8th go? Just to quite probably change right back the next time.”

“So you had girls and blokes, but-” Rory started.

“It was as insignificant a differentiation as eye colour.” The Doctor finished with a shrug.

“So the translation then…?”

“The actual word is _Temkairosze`lucreastenjana,_ ” Rose told him, imitating the Gallifreyan inflection. The word itself raising involuntary gooseflesh all along Rory’s arms. “Which translates more to ‘Creators and Masters of Time’ -but that didn’t have as much of a ring to it.”

Rory nodded in hesitant understanding at that. “So the ‘Lord’ translation isn’t the _title_ it’s like… God.”

They both let out surprised chuckles at that summary, but nodded in agreement anyway. “Yeah… yeah I suppose so.” The Doctor admitted. “Time Lords were an incredibly pompous race.” He laughed, and tilted his head. “I guess it’s in the name.”

Rory chuckled along with them at that, but couldn’t help the sort of reverent look he gave them as the two practically-gods returned back to their fiction- The Doctor handing Rose a biscuit from his pocket.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I make up the Gallifreyan by translating different words in multiple languages and mashing them together.
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah MBF definitely isn't getting up today. I'm sorry- I'm trying really hard. I'm hopeful for Monday! Thank you for your patience and as always your comments are what is keeping me going ❤︎


	4. Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after Chapter 7 "To Dwell on Dreams" (the Dream Lord episode). "Later" is promised near the top of the story, and in the end they discuss Alina with Amy and Rory, but they still needed to grieve her on their own- this is that scene I had to cut.

 

It’s the sort of pain you never get over- losing a child.

You can move on, sure, and you can be just as happy as you were before, but it’s a weight that never leaves your chest. Not a day will pass that you won’t think about them. It’s not always in the all-consuming way that bad days bring, but it’s always still there.

After the Dream Lord, they’d talked to Amy and Rory about Alina, but not in the way they really needed to. The way they often found themselves having to in the last forty years since they lost her. Rose was still draped across The Doctor’s lap in the armchair of the library after Amy and Rory had retired for the night. She ran her hand through his hair and got him to look up to her as they shared similar thoughts.

“It’s  _ actually _ later now, isn’t it?” She said with a slight smile- referencing their ability to put emotions on the back burner until crises were averted. 

Her smirked and nodded, running a comforting hand up and down her leg. “How are you doing?” He asked her seriously, not sure with how much salt to take what she’d told Amy and Rory.

Rose shrugged noncommittally. “That pregnancy wasn’t real.” She said firmly. “I’m not… mourning another child. I’m just mourning Alina all over again- or you know,” she lifted her shoulders again and looked up to him. “It’s a bad day.”

The Doctor nodded in agreement and placed a kiss on her shoulder, closing his eyes against the onslaught of emotions conversation about their daughter brought. Rose had worked the majority of his guilt complex out of him by now, but sometimes, on days like these, all those dark thoughts would come crawling back, telling him it was his fault they lost her. It was his fault Rose had to go through that- continues to have to go through that.

She caught his jaw as she picked up on all those thoughts, forcing him to look up to her. “Hey,” she whispered, “we’re in this together, yeah? No one’s fault.”

He smirked at her gentle reminder for him to get over himself and nodded. He took in his wife’s features- stunning despite the sorrow, and reached up to run a reverent hand across her tear-dampened cheek. “She would have been so beautiful.” He said quietly, caught up in imaginary thoughts of watching their daughter grow up.

Rose choked on a half-sob, half-laugh at that as he shared his thoughts with her. She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. They stayed like that for a while, breathing each other’s air in quiet grief for their baby girl.

Finally though, Rose let out a long, shuddering breath before standing up, holding her hands out for her husband. “Come on,” she whispered, “think we turn in early this night.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The episode-by-episode commitment I made forces me to cut things like this a lot in order to move the plot along, and I think it can sometimes leave the impression that they aren't _fully_ communicating. So I'm glad I finally have somewhere to put these scenes.


	5. Stranger Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in Chapter 17 "Silence" this is the Doctor outtake mentioned in the chapter notes.
> 
>  
> 
> \--Dedicated to my Grandmother. The strongest woman I know. She's taught me how to take everything life throws at me, catch it, and carry on. I wouldn't be half the person I am today without her.

The Doctor’s shoulders deflated a bit when he accidentally made eye contact with the front desk lady as he stepped through the doors of the Kennedy Space Center, but he recovered quickly, walking over to her in long strides and attempting to look as important and self-assured as possible as he pulled the psychic paper from his coat pocket. “Doctor John Tyler, head engineer for Trans World Airlines.” He introduced himself quickly. “I believe I have a meeting here somewhere… but I can’t seem to remember where.” He put on his best ‘confused-human’ voice and looked to her helplessly.

The secretary (Sandy- her name tag read) smiled warmly at him, and pulled out a series of binders. “Let’s see then…” She started, running her finger down a list of meetings and appointments. “Ah yes… Right this way.” She said once she’d found what she was looking for, and stood up.

She was pregnant. The Doctor swallowed as he realised this fact. “Oh… oh that’s okay I could probably find my own-”

Sandy let out a tinkling laugh, cutting him off, and walked around her desk anyway. “I’m pregnant, not broken.” She told him stermly, her eyes still bright with humor though.

The Doctor let out a breathless laugh at that and nodded, allowing her to lead him down the corridor. “So…” he started eventually. “Is this your first?” He asked the young, expectant mother.

Sandy grinned over her shoulder to him. “Third, actually.” She said, but then grimaced and looked down to her feet. “We lost our first though- our son, Michael.”

The Doctor nodded, feeling that on a new kind of personal level. “My wife and I too- our daughter, Alina.” He told her, eyes softening.

She gave him a sad smile at that, but still the innate happiness the woman seemed to carry around with her still shone through her eyes- even if a little covered with sorrow. “It’s not something you ever get over.” She said quietly, and he nodded in solemn agreement.

“You seem to be doing well.” He told her honestly, but he was pretty sure he’d failed to keep his own pain from marring the statement a bit.

Sandy’s hands fell to her stomach at that. “Michael passed away a few hours after he was born- before my husband could make it back from Vietnam.” She spoke to him, but her eyes stared straight ahead. “The doctors told us to have another baby right away, so that’s what we did.” She shrugged. “They were right.” She sent him another small smile, and they started up a set of stairs.

The Doctor nodded. Martha had told them that, but of course they couldn’t have. They were close enough biologically- since Rose carried the time vortex, but even still it had taken them near sixty years to get pregnant with Alina. “Yeah, we couldn’t do that. Tried, but…” he let out a long breath, fighting back all the emotions he’d been holding back for the last two months. “Wasn’t meant to be, I suppose.”

She looked over to him sternly at that. “Oh, don’t say that.” She reprimanded him, but her eyes were kind and knowing. It was oddly cathartic, The Doctor thought, talking to this complete stranger- maybe he had up until this point completely overlooked the merits of speaking to someone who understood, yet was outside of the situation itself- _Oh, did he just figure out therapy?_

The Doctor smiled back to her at that, and silently reveled at the resilience of humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Grandmother, Sandy, was a secretary for NASA in 1969 around Apollo 11. She was pregnant with her third child during this time (my mother), only three short years after losing her first son, Michael. Growing up, I always knew about death (and death of children) because of this- but it was never a shadow on our family. It was just... there. She always said she had three children. My mother and aunt always said they had a brother. I'd even included him in my prayers at night. I never really realized the gravity of it until a few years ago when I heard her say "you never get over that- there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Michael," to one of my aunts. And that really struck a cord with me. This wonderful, incredibly happy, giving, sunshine-person of a woman that's always been such a source of positive energy in my life had been carrying around a weight like that for so long... and I never even realized. Even in conversations about Michael it never hit me just how... Earth shattering an event like that is. But yet she never once backed down from life.
> 
> That's why I gave The Doctor and Rose this weight. Child Loss isn't something that's spoken about a lot- especially in literature, but it's something _so many_ women and couples have to go through and carry with them- many of them multiple times. The ability to hold a lost child throughout life is... a mark of an exceptionally strong human being.


	6. Far Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outtake from Chapter 17- that Canton scene mentioned in the end notes.

They sat around the Oval Office for a bit before the President returned. The girls were slouched over on the sofa- Amy’s head pillowed against Rose’s shoulder. Both girls had dried mascara stains tracking their way towards their hairline, and it was obvious by their posture that they were sharing in each other’s comfort. Rory leaned heavily against the TARDIS, arms and ankles crossed in front of him, while The Doctor carried a similar posture against the President's desk. Canton stood to the side, taking them all in, openly curious as to what happened next for them, but knowing that he probably would never find out.

Finally though, President Nixon came in with a wide smile for The Doctor. He greeted them all and gave the bowtied alien a firm handshake. “So we're safe again!” He exclaimed.

The Doctor squinted at him though. “Safe? No, of course you're not safe. There's about a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your whole world. But, if you want to pretend you're safe, just so you can sleep at night? Okay, you're safe. But you're not really.” He rambled the warning out very quickly, without the sort of emotions that tended to come with sentences like that- more blasé. He turned towards Canton with a grin. “Until the next one, eh?” He shook the detective’s hand and patted him on the back.

Canton smirked at his odd friend- sure there wasn't going to be a next time. “Looking forward to it.” He said anyway.

In an instant, The Doctor wheeled back around to face the President with a hard look. “Canton just wants to get married- Hell of a reason to kick him out of the FBI.”

Nixon nodded, understanding the unspoken request. “I'm sure something can be arranged.”

The Doctor smiled at that and patted him on the back as well. “I'm counting on you.”

Before he could turn back to his family though, Nixon caught his arm. “Er, Doctor... Canton here tells me you're- you're from the future. It hardly seems possible, but I was wondering-”

“I should warn you I don't answer a lot of questions.” The Doctor interrupted him, raising his eyebrows.

Nixon seemed taken aback at that, and continued on anyway. “But I'm a President at the beginning of his time…” He implored him. “Dare I ask: Will I be remembered?”

His family seemed to take that as their cue to stand, as they all started shuffling back into the TARDIS while The Doctor smirked and put a hand on the President’s shoulder. “Oh, Dicky. Tricky Dicky. They're never going to forget you. Say hi to David Frost for me.” He grinned at his own joke and spun towards his box.

Nixon squinted and sputtered for a moment. “David Frost?” He called to The Doctor’s back, but the door was already closing behind the alien, and seconds later the TARDIS was leaving.

The President and Canton watched as the mysterious blue box disappeared from the office. “This person you want to marry…” Nixon started. “Black?”

Canton raised a brow and didn’t look over to the President as he answered. “Yes.”

Nixon nodded. “Hmm. I know what people think of me, but perhaps I'm a little more liberal-”

“ _ He _ is.” Canton finished, only just managing to keep back the eye roll the President’s uninformed spiel was inspiring.

Nixon blanched at that, and swallowed heavily, giving Canton a sideways look. “I think the Moon is far enough, for now, don't you, Mr. Delaware?”

Canton smirked- he’d expected nothing less. “I figured it might be.”

He had his job back, at least. And, as he stared at the place where the TARDIS had once been, a new idea creeped into his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We haven't seen the last of Canton Everett Delaware III!
> 
> Had to cut this mostly because it wasn't different enough from the original to warrant it as it, unfortunately, didn't add anything crucial to the plot. That's the downside to writing something originally made for TV. While description lets me give insight that isn't available on screen, a lot of small things -like this scene- have to get cut to avoid choppy unattached writing.


	7. Moon and Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set soon after Chapter 17 "Silence" -not one of the promised outtakes, but a good one from Rose & Amy. Was originally going to kick off Chapter 18, but the Doctor & Amy scene won out for the plot's sake.

Amy was up late (or whatever that meant in the TARDIS) wandering about when she found Rose in the console room. She had the doors open, and was sitting on the ship’s edge- her feet dangling out over the stars, and a giant blanket wrapped around her shoulders, fanning out around her in a sort of ring of comfort.

Amy tilted her head at the unfamiliar sight, and stepped slowly up to the Time Lord before sitting carefully down next to her. “Mind the company?” She asked her quietly.

Rose shook her head, but didn’t turn to look at her- keeping her eyes firmly on what appeared to be a particularly bright star in the distance. Amy followed her line of sight and squinted at all the stars in front of her, trying to discern any sort of meaning from it. After a long moment Rose seemed to read her thoughts, as she pointed out into the cosmos. “That star- right there. Do you see it?” She started.

Amy leaned closer so that she could look right down Rose’s finger. “The blueish one?” She asked eventually.

Rose nodded, a small smile playing at her lips. “That’s Earth.” She informed her, and watched as wonder fell upon the young girl’s features. “We’re a billion miles away right now- but there it is.” She whispered, and then breathed in deeply before continuing. “And that star closest to it- that’s the moon.” Rose smiled as Amy let out a small breath of amazement- still awed by the existence of her own planet despite having seen so many others.

They sat their silently for a while, but eventually Amy shivered against the cold vacuum of space, and Rose lifted up one arm of her blanket to allow Amy to scoot closer to her and wrap the woolen monstrosity around the both of them. She leaned her head against the older woman’s shoulder. “What made you come out here?” She finally asked her,  _ sotto voce. _

Rose let out a little breathless chuckle. “Did I ever tell you the first thing The Doctor ever showed me?” She asked instead of answering.

Amy looked up to Rose exasperatedly, but Rose didn’t look down to see it, so Amy sighed and shook her head in answer.

“The year five billion.” Rose told her, voice deep. “The day the Earth burned.”

Amy pulled back at that, eyebrows raised at her in disbelief. “What kind of first date is that?” She asked incredulously, Scottish accent overtly apparent.

Rose finally smiled fully at that. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well, actually I thought:  _ well now I’m sure he’s not interested. _ ” She joked, getting Amy to laugh as well. 

When their giggles finally died down Rose took another deep breath, growing serious again. “I was the first person he’d had in the TARDIS since the war. Since he’d watched his own planet burn.” She said, keeping her eyes on the stars again. Amy’s breath caught in her throat at that. “He was a lot more cross and rough around the edges back then… More broken… I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was definitely a dick move-” Rose smirked and tilted her head in admission while Amy allowed a small smile to slip through at that. “-but I think he mostly just wanted to not feel so alone. To have someone who might know even a tiny bit of what that felt like.”

Amy shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around that. “What did you- I mean-” She stuttered over how to ask.

Rose chuckled and swung her legs out in front of her. “At first, I mean, it really got to me. Because well of course there was trouble-”

“Of course.” Amy interrupted, rolling her eyes, and getting another laugh out of Rose for her efforts.

“Yeah,” She went on, grinning before sobering up again. “And in the middle of it- we all forgot to watch it go. One second it was there, and when I turned back around… it wasn’t.” She let out a long breath. “But The Doctor, he saw me getting all upset y’know, and he took my hand and said ‘come with me’ and we went back in the TARDIS and seconds later we were back on Earth- in my time.”

“Just like that.” Amy breathed, trying to feel what that would have been like for Rose. Being with a man who could take away her entire world, and then hand it right back to her in an instant.

Rose nodded. “Just like that.” She repeated. “And then, standing in the middle of the streets of London, he told me about the time war, how he was the last… and I got it.” Rose shrugged. “He asked me if I wanted to go home, and I just-” She broke off to turn to Amy. “Imagine that. Nineteen years old and this man just drops out of the sky, helps you save the world, promises you the stars, and then takes you to watch your planet burn.”

Amy shook her head. “I can’t.” She tells her honestly, suddenly incredibly grateful for her goofy Doctor upstairs that Rose had apparently molded him into over the last century.

Rose smirked and looked back out to the stars again. “But standing on that street, I looked up into his eyes as he spoke about the war… and I saw it. That little light that was begging to shine again. I couldn’t leave him.” She shrugged and swung her feet out again. “He needed me.” She said, and moved to twist her wedding ring around her finger. “And I needed him too.”

“How’s that?” Amy asked her breathlessly.

Rose bit her lip before answering. “I was stuck on Earth. And I  don’t mean in the way every teenager feels stuck… I was fated to lead the same life every other girl on the estate was. Shop girl my whole life, pregnant before 22, married to some bloke I didn’t really love-” She cut herself off, and took a deep breath before continuing. “I wasn’t going to leave that path on my own. I just wasn’t. I was content being exactly what everyone expected out of me: nothing…” She drifted off. “Until he showed up and told me -showed me- how much more I was capable of. I didn’t know it until I met him. He was the first person to ever believe I could be anything other than a shop girl from the estates.” Rose smiled down at her ring at that. “I may have helped him find his light… but he helped me find myself.”

Amy shook her head. “You are his light, Rose.” She told her seriously. “He looks at you like you hung the moon and painted the stars yourself.”

Rose chuckled and nodded a bit at that- unable to deny the truth, even for humility’s sake. “Yeah we’re… we’re pretty good together.” She agreed on a laugh.

“The best.” Amy said firmly.

Rose smirked at that and looked back out into the stars. “I came to sit out here to remind myself there’s a point to it all.” She finally answered Amy’s original question. Amy blinked confusedly for a moment before she remembered, and followed Rose’s lead in looking at the little dot that was planet Earth. “Right now, there’s a nineteen year old shop girl, terrified in the basement of a Hendrik’s, and the love of her life is taking her hand, and telling her to run.”

Amy sucked in a breath at that extra bit of info, and looked at the dot with even more reverence than before.

“And this,” Rose said, motioning all around them, “is what the stars looked like that night.” She smirked and bumped Amy’s shoulder. “Looks like you’re one of them.” She told her.

Amy let out a breathless laugh at that as she continued to stare out in wide-eyed amazement towards the moon and stars surrounding that little blue dot in the distance.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE MADE A DECISION.
> 
> I _will_ be writing the second half of season 7! I know I've been pretty on the fence about it, but inspiration struck me in a big way yesterday while I was drunk-watching that one episode about the Wi-Fi. I'm so so so excited for where this story is headed! I haven't decided if this last half will be included with MBF, or be another add-on to the series. We'll see how I tie up the Pond's story, and how often I'll be able to bring them into Clara's before making any final decisions in that regard. But either way- IT IS HAPPENING.
> 
> In less fortunate news, I've fallen into the really horrible place of I'm-really-bored-writing-this-but-I-have-to-get-through-it-to-start-writing-the-good-bits that comes with transcribing filler episodes that I'm really not all that interested in in the first place. SO ugh. Yeah. That's the problem with this episode-by-episode commitment. It's great for fixing an era that fell short of so much potential- but it can really squander the creativity on the episodes that don't leave a lot of room for editing. So, I'm trying, but Chapter 18 is a slow process atm. I'll be posting here in the meantimes though! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued support ❤︎ It means the world to me.


	8. To: Team TARDIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group-Text-Style-Fic-IDK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mild spoiler in here, but it's literally revealed right at the beginning of the next chapter of MBF to be posted soon.
> 
> This is much fandom-ier than my normal stuff but it was fun so whatever lol.

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
ROSIEEEE!!!! It’s been too long!!! I know you’re in familial bliss right now or whatever but we all need to meet up again!!!

_From:_ **Martha Jones**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Agreed!

_From:_ **Donna Noble**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Yeah normal people get boring after this long. It's like. You don't know what an ood is? Get out of my face.

_From:_ **Mickey Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
She makes a fair point.

_From:_ **Sarah Jane Smith**  
_To:_ **Team TARDIS**  
Rookies.

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Hi guys! A meet up sounds lovely! Amy and Rory aren't actually with us at the moment though.

**_Jack Harkness_  ** _added_   _ **Amy Pond**_ _to **Team TARDIS**_

_****Jack Harkness**** added ****Rory Pond**** to ****Team TARDIS** ** _

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Say hi everybody!

_From:_ **Martha Jones**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Hello!

_From:_ **Mickey Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
hi everybody

_From:_ **Sarah Jane Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Hello dears!

_From:_ **Donna Noble**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your texting existence. There's no escape.

_From:_ **Rory Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Wow. Okay. This is happening.

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I'm down for this.

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Finally some more immortals on here. Strap in you two. You're stuck with me for the next few thousand years.

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Sounds like fun

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Oh you know it ;)

_From:_ **Rory Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Oi!

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Oi!

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Didn't mean it like that! It was a friendly wink! A brotherly one even!

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Anyway Ponds, us retirees were craving some adventure. Didn't seem right not to include you in our chat antics if you aren't full time TARDIS residents anymore.

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I feel honoured.

_From:_ **Rory Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
It's like graduating again.

_From:_ **Mickey** **Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
This is a club. Very exclusive. Welcome and congratulations.

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Anyway! We'd be happy to pick you all up! Just send us your dates! (Though try to stay within the same week- remember what happened last time!)

_From:_ **Donna Noble**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
That was a disaster.

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I'm going to need to hear this story.

_From:_ **Donna Noble**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Oh, have we got stories about your parents.

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Ohhhh yeah ;)

_From:_ **Martha Jones**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Definitely

_From:_ **Mickey Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
YEARS worth

_From:_ **Mickey Smith**  
To: _ **Team TARDIS**_  
_(Attached: 1 photo)_  


_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Oh no.

_From:_ **Sarah Jane Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I'll do you one better.  
(Attached: 1 photo)  


_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
OH MY GOD IS THAT DAD

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
WHAT IN THE NAME OF SANITY IS AROUND HIS NECK

_From:_ **Rory Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
And here I thought the bow tie was bad.

_From:_ **Sarah Jane Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Rory, you haven't seen a bow tie until you've seen this.  
_(Attached: 1 photo)_  


_From:_ **Rory Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
No!!

_From:_ **Donna Noble**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Aw but you guys remember  
_(Attached: 1 photo)_  
  
the bean pole!!

_From:_ **Mickey Smith**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Of course. But we can't forget that coat.  
_(Attached: 1 photo)_  


_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Janis Joplin gave him that coat!

__From:__ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Hold on. Why are we making fun of pretty boy when we have this oaf?  
(Attached: 2 photos)  
  


_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
THE LEATHER

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I'M DYING

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Wait. We're forgetting someone very important.

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Please don't.

_From:_ **Jack Harkness**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
_(Attached: 1 photo)_  


Doctor Decorative Vegetable!

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Betrayal.

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
THAT IS CELERY

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
HE HAS CELERY ON HIS LAPEL

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
WHY

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
WHO LET THAT HAPPEN

_From:_ **Amy Pond**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
MUM

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
Hey don't look at me. That was centuries before we met.

_From:_ **Rose Tyler**  
To: **Team TARDIS**  
I'm never telling him this happened.

_From:_   **Rory Pond** **  
** To: **Team TARDIS** _  
_ I am.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The formatting on this was a bitch and literally took me HOURS so if you seen any mistakes just keep them to yourself. Ao3 can choke honestly their text editor sucks ass.
> 
> It turns out college is really hard and it's really hard to write for pleasure when I know I have a billion other things I need to do in order to make the $70,000/year that I'm spending worth it. But I really really really miss this story. So I'm trying. I'm doing my best. I promise.


	9. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to see her smile.

It was agony.

Well, okay. That was probably being a bit overdramatic. The Doctor knew what actual agony felt like of course. Agony was the moment Alina had died, and the years of anguish that had come with it. Agony was when Rose had fallen into the void and the four weeks of hell that folllowed. Agony was the few minutes of pure unadulterated fear and pain he’d felt when Rose had died after scattering their baby amongst the timelines.

She was alive, and with him all the time, even if she couldn’t stand beside him right now. And that was enough. It was more than enough. Any part of Rose was always going to be a gift he felt he didn’t deserve.

And though he visited her often, it was painful—seeing how the smiles she gave never quite reached her eyes, and the heavy curl to her shoulders. The light inside her that had once been a seemingly infinite wild fire, now dimmed to a small but persistent flame.

He knew that he wasn’t much better off, but that fact didn’t bother him as much.

He just wanted to see her smile again. But he knew the only way to do that was to find their daughter, and so far everything he’d tried had failed.

He just wanted to see her smile.

So he did something stupid and rash and if he was in his right head he wouldn’t have done, but he’d just lost his third child in a row and now Rose was gone as well.

The TARDIS could have stopped him, but instead she helped, directing him towards the few coordinates that could actually have a shot at working and not destroying the entirety of time and space in one go.

He stepped out onto a snowy London street, his face cast in shadow by the tall cement buildings that surrounded him and the police box. In the distance, two figures came around the corner and into the light of the street lamps.

“I'm late now. I've missed it,” that voice that he knew so well said, and he felt his hearts grind to halt at the sight of her standing there, only a handful of metres away now. “It's midnight. Mickey's going to be calling me everything. This is your fault,” nineteen year old Rose Tyler complained to her Mum as she glared at her wrist watch.

“No, it's not,” Jackie shot back, and her voice had a surprising effect on The Doctor as well, like a long forgotten wound making itself known again. He felt tears spring to his eyes. “It's Jimbo. He said he was going to give us a lift, then he said his axle broke. I can't help it.”

Rose rolled her eyes, letting out an exasperated sound. “Get rid of him, Mum. He's useless.”

“Listen to you, with a mechanic,” she teased, and Rose let out a small laugh that might as well have been Beethoven’s third symphony to The Doctor’s ears. “...Be fair, though. My time of life, I'm not going to do much better.”

Rose immediately gave her mother a stern look. “Don't be like that. You never know. There could be someone out there.”

_In another universe,_ The Doctor supplied in his head.

Jackie sighed. “Maybe, one day,” she agreed, not sounding all that convinced, but brightening up again almost immediately as she wrapped her daughter in a hug. “Happy New Year!”

Rose laughed again, “Happy New Year! Don't stay out all night.” She set her with a knowing look.

“Try and stop me,” Jackie grinned playfully before giving her another hug and turning in the opposite direction.

The Doctor let out a small noise as Rose turned towards him and he remembered finally, what she had looked like before the weight of the universe had been put on her shoulders. Carefree, innocent, unburdened by the pain of so much loss...

Rose squinted into the darkness, and finally made out his figure. “You all right, mate?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” The Doctor managed to choke out, the word sounding muddled and broken.

Rose interpreted it differently though. “Too much to drink?”

He smirked sadly. “Something like that,” he answered quietly.

“Maybe it's time you went home.”

_Home_. He wasn’t quite sure where that was anymore. “Yeah,” he agreed anyway.

Rose bounced on the tips of her toes in a youthful sort of joy. “Anyway, Happy New Year!”

“And you,” he said, ignoring the way his chest tightened at her cheer. She began turning away from him though, and he couldn’t help but call out to her, “What year is this?”

She turned back around, a furrow marking her brow though her lips stayed quirked in an amused smile.“Blimey, how much have you had?” she laughed.

The Doctor shrugged and tilited his head. Still unable to lie to her. Even if she didn’t know who he was yet. Even if it was inconsequential.

Rose shook her head, “2005, January the first.”

“2005...” The Doctor breathed. “Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year,” he promised her.

Rose’s entire face lit up at the kind words from a stranger, ringing in the new year. “Yeah?” she asked, unable to know that she was speaking to her future husband— the man she’d meet in just a few months now.

He smirked and nodded.

Then she gave him that wonderful tongue-touched smile that he hasn’t seen in so long, and he felt his hearts nearly collapse in on themselves at the sight. She nodded, bouncing on her toes again and swinging from side to side for a bit. “See you!” she finally settled on, before turning in a flash of blond and a flurry of snow, disappearing around the corner in an instant.

The Doctor watched her go before stepping back inside the empty TARDIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes started back and my schedule is... a lot busier than I had hoped for. The next chapter is half way done, and I’d really like to get it out soon, but unfortunately all my other responsibilities have to take priority the majority of the time. I’m trying! I promise!
> 
> I typed this really quickly while trying to sleep before my 8am tomorrow. It’s really angsty, but anything else would have been wildly out of context given the current story.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you are all doing well, and thank you so much for bearing with me during this time. It means a lot. ❤️


End file.
